Friday, 30 May 2014

I Need to have a word...


Hey Guys!
 Hope your all okay?

Recently I was browsing instagram and found this image over on Zoellas page and it reminded me about something I wanted to write about for a while really..

Bitchiness. One thing I really dislike but I know it exists and if we are all honest it proberly always will wont it?

The problem is Bitchiness has gone from being a bit of back biting here and there to vile and cruel comments made by people which are completely uncessary and uncalled for..

With the use of the internet becoming so popular and a daily use for most of us it has become alot more evident that bitchiness and bullying has taken on a whole new level of cruelness..

As a blogger I can openly write my opinions in my own space,but I know that I am now open for other people to share there opinion on content on my blog - the thing I am not ready to accept is unnecassary scrutiny by certain people...

Over the last few months I have found myself being 'watched' if you'd like to put it by a few individuals who seem to be out to pull apart every little thing I do while being pretty nasty about it...

Being a lifestyle blogger I choose to share parts of my life on the internet - so that in time I can look back and remember all the great things my blog has helped me achieve and ofcourse to document the amazing things transplant does.
I have felt like I need to write this blog post just to get a few things straight really.

Like I say I know a few people will be reading this and laughing to themselves but you know what - I Don't care any more. My blog helps so many people and I know this blog post will too.

There has been several occasions I have turned down transplant related media and articles because in the past any news article thats been written,any tv appearances or any radio chats I have done have been picked apart. That puzzles me so much.

I now have social anxiety - for being unfairly prejudged, because of people trying to break every little thing I do down and for what?

For your own happiness?

Well in that case I really question what kicks you get out of making someone have to watch every little thing they do and make me feel like I can't do the amazing things I do for transplant awareness because you will take the piss out of me,but I'm done with that now..

I know there are other people out there that fall a victim of people thinking it's big and clever to bully others over the internet.

But you know what?
The people doing the pre judging,the bitching,the slagging off,the vileness?

They are not worth your time!
It has took me this long,and getting to the verge of almost stopping blogging to realise a few prejudging individuals should not rule what I do with my life!
And all this from 'adults' with familes and lifes of there own?
We are not kids back in school with tittle tattle about the latest toy...
We are all adults with lives to go life..
Life is too short to spend our time scrolling through the internet picking apart others..

So my tips for people going through the same thing :

1.This is not your fault.. You have done nothing wrong and do not deserve to be treated this way.

2. Block & Report! Any one causing you aggro? Block them! Any harrasement? Report it!

3. Be prepared. Be prepared that if you block and report them, they will use family or friends social networking and such to try and contact you... Continue to Block and Report!

4.Do not stop what you want to do! You have hobbies and intrests,you have social networking to interact with family & friends do not let internet trolls try and dictate how you live your life.

5. If all this continues?

Report it to the police.. Bottom line is it is online bullying and very often they are continuing to try and find you to do the same which is harrasment. Do not stand for it. Print Screen,Save Conversations keep it all so if the police get involved you have all the evidence there.

This was a hard blog post to type so im sorry if a lot makes little to no sense but it needed to be done..
Just by victimising and breaking a person it will not make you any happier in the long term,it won't bring any benefit to your life... It won't fix any insecurities you may have about yourself!

So Yeah..

Thursday, 22 May 2014

Liver Clinic Catch Up : 20th May

Hey Guy's !
Hope your all okay?
Yesterday I had liver clinic so figured I would give you a little catch up with how it went.
To start with I was originally meant to go in today but for the past week I haven't been filling tip top which you will have seen if you follow me over on twitter.
So in I went a day early to check everything was okay.
I went in too early - oops.
Which meant me mom Annabell and violet had to sit around and wait,and long story short ended up getting seen at 3ish..
That's enough to make you ill I tell you ha ha.
In I went to get weighed and I was right..
I've put on some wait and I'm now 10stone 4lbs - which I'm hoping to bring down to 10stone BUT we shall see,
and everything else in reference to blood pressure and such looked fine so I was starting to feel like a bit of a wolly like I was worrying for no reason..
Still better to be safe then sorry right?
So in we went to see my doctor,and after a congratulations from him he started asking what was wrong and I reeled of what felt like the worlds biggest list of symptoms ever.
Bottom line - I have been tested to see if I have Cealic disease which could be the cause of swelling and we are waiting for LFT's.
I haven't heard anything as yet,I'm guessing since they were taken at 3ish yesterday afternoon,so I shall have to see if i get a call tomorrow.
I have to say I'm kind of panicking about these bloods,I don't feel quite right and any transplant patient will tell you that's sometimes no matter how many times someone says - don't worry
You do the complete opposite!
In other news though - soon I will becoming a mentor for the patients transitioning over from the children's hospital to the Q.E which is super exciting.
It means alot that the QE team feel I can be someone that people can relate to and approach in a very important and scary part of there life!
For this reason I will be uploading more transplant related posts - and would love if anyone has ANY questions relating to transplant!
Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

New look Bridal Shoes & Accesories - Talking Transplants Talks Weddings.

Hey Guy's!
Hope your all okay?
Today I thought with 58 days left until I get married I would share my wedding shoes  and bag with you all (The only things I WILL be sharing with you about my outfit until after the wedding!)

These are the Embellished Shoes from new look which I choose..
They are a bargain at £27.99 as in person they are super sparkly and basically Gorgeous.
I knew that I wanted something with a strap around my ankle to give me the extra support throughout the day,and I have really arched feet so wanted something that would give me support to the bottom of my feet which sandal heels tend to give me!
I thought these will look stunning for a wedding as their is just the right amount of sparkles while still being very classy!
Although I have to say the Bridal selection that New Look is offering at the moment has so much choice for gorgeous wedding shoes - heads up for upcoming brides!
Then last week while having a browse round new look, I spotted this embellished box clutch which is made as a matching item for the shoes and just had to get it at another bargain price of £24.99 !

It is embellished with the same beautiful gems that embellish my heels.
The gems continue around the entire edges of the bag which again which give a understated bit of glitz and still gives of a sense of glamour!

This box clutch also comes with the option of wearing it with the strap which to be honest,I don't think I will as it looks so gorgeous without any distractions.
Plus it will only be there to contain my bridal essentials on the day.
This matching pair just made me fall in love and I can't wait to wear them very soon when I get married!
Be sure to go check out New Looks bridal range for some fab pieces for any style of wedding day!
Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

Thursday, 15 May 2014

Er ?.. Hey Anxiety!

"Can't you ask instead?"
"Don't worry just go without me"
"Do I have too?..."
It Sucks.
It can take over your life - if you let it..
I suffer with social anxiety and I have done for almost two years now,
generally since I had my last transplant.
I have always been a anxious person,I was when I was a child,I was extremely shy but as I got older that eased away.
When you have had all the uncertainty that I have had in my life over the last 4 years it is absolutely no surprise that I have got anxiety really.
I was first 'diagnosed' with anxiety a year ago when I saw a psychiatrist who has supported me throughout my transplant journey.
I found I was avoiding social situations and doing things with family just because I was unsure what would happen.
I was always panicking,I would always make about 10 totally irrational scenarios of what 'could' happen which I would then fixate on debilitating me from doing anything at all.
I won't sit here and act like I have dealt with my anxiety,in fact its almost the opposite.
My anxiety recently has got worse and over the last month I have had at least 7 panic attacks..
I was asked by someone to write a post about how I 'deal' with my anxiety so figured I should share things I try to do..
But I do stress I am still trying to get to grips with my anxiety,but these are things that can sometimes help me.
Yes do plan,but not weeks in advance!
I am awful for this,I will plan things months in advance but the trouble with this?
It give you months to ponder over it and think of hundreds of possibility's of things that could happen that won't!
Your best planning a day or two in advance,this gives you time to calm yourself for an upcoming event but not over think it (This doesn't always work though I will admit)
Remember,your anxiety is generally irrational and inaccurate.
Anxiety is when you feel extreme fear,and it generally is for no reason that should make you feel that way.
It is natural to get nervous but sometimes anxiety can turn your nerves into a totally irrational fear of a situation that won't or generally can't possibly exist!
Always have an exit plan route.
It is so so important this one,especially if you have social anxiety.
My partner of course knows how bad my anxiety is so when we are out he always keeps this in mind.
We always try to pick an 'exit plan' if we are in a new situation or a old situation too.
Be sure to think how you will get away from the situation if you become to anxious,for example we once went on a night out and as we walked in we look around the club and figured out the best way to walk out if I needed some air!
If possible it is always super use full if the people or person you are with know you have anxiety,yes some people do not understand it BUT if a panic attack occurs they will know why!
Gareth can always notice my 'ticks' if you want to call them that,so knows as soon as I start rubbing my left hand with my thumb I am about to have a panic attack - and gets me outta there!
Nothing bad will ever happen during a panic attack.
Not everyone with anxiety will suffer with this but when you do?
Its horrible.
If you have panic attacks you will already know the pounding in your chest can become unbearable and you often feel like you will collapse which then brings on rapid breathing.
Just try to remember you will not die from a panic attack!
You will be okay,But it is crucial you get some space and focus on steadying your breathing down.
This will make you feel calmer.
Panic Attacks are so so draining and they are so hard to deal with but just remember it won't last forever - the feeling will go away!
Do not be embarrassed.
This may seem a silly statement to someone with anxiety,as it's often something that causes anxiety - peoples opinions.
Anxiety of any sort is a serious thing,it can be so debilitating but sadly not everyone understands that.
I have had people say "How can you have social anxiety? Your confident,you talk on the TV, Radio? You don't seem anxious then?"
That's why anxiety sucks,It is so difficult to explain,With all the things I do I feel and know I am making a difference so have no reason to feel anxious as I am making positive steps.
I'm so scared of being misjudged - which I have been,and I know that there will be at least two people reading this who have done just that.
And I know when I have a panic attack in a club or even while I have been shopping people have tutted or gave me dirty looks.
But you know what? Forget them!
Anxiety does NOT define who you are,its part of you yes,but it does not need to rule you and embarrass you!
Sadly some people simply do not understand mental health and anxiety,anxiety is a serious problem and it should not make you embarrassed!
I don't know if any of this could have possibly helped but I really hope it has,
Living with anxiety is so so horrible and It's such a shame to see that lately anxiety seems to be hitting everyone.
People always seem to be under some sort of stress or facing worries that sometimes if not dealt with can create huge anxiety.
Just remember it will get better,
it doesn't make you any less of a person,
and it won't make you any less successful with life
If you face it head on and don't let it!
If any of you want to talk to me about my life with anxiety privately you are more then welcome to email me at :
Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

FujiFilm Instax Mini8 - Talking Transplant Talks Weddings!

Hey Guy's !
Hope your all okay?
Today I had an exciting wedding delivery!
Me & My other half aren't one for super formal photos,and I love to be able to have something physical to keep looking back at - so with those two things together poloroid sprang to mind,and in particular the Instax Mini I have been seeing everywhere lately!
I opened it up to this cute yet hipster looking packaging which shows a few images of what you can create with your camera but realisticly you wouldnt be able too - polaroid style cameras all about the imperfections anyway!

I got our camera for £99 which also included 70 shots - fab value!
These will be used throughtout the day and the evening and placed in our blue polaroid picture album which is on its way.. (something blue and all that stuff)

The camera we went for was the white one,simply as it would look best on the day really!
It looks so cute and is perfectly sized for hand held shots.

Its very simple to use,to power it on you click the little button by the lense and it will pop out,allowing you to select a lighting option,and then click the shutter button positioned below the view finder (Which I will need to keep in mind as the view finder is not anywhere near the lense so the pictures will be slightly off angle!)

With 5 light settings there is one suitable for every lighting scenario,perfect for a wedding which is a whole day occasion with varying lighting and such!

Once a photo is taken it pops straight out the top of the camera - and there is your handheld memory of the day.
I loved the idea of having some poloraid type pictures in an album for us to look back as they are alot more informal then the classic photography shots we will also be getting!
The camera produces buisness card size prints perfect to just pop in a wallet or purse!
I can't wait to use this on the day,not long at all now!
Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

May Day - Lush

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

Happy Anniversary.

So,Today I won't be starting this post of as a "Hey Guys" post..
This is a very personal post and I wanted to use my little piece of the Internet here on my blog to share this piece of writing really...
So if your not one for soppy pieces of writing?
Your probably better of skipping this one..
I wanted to wish my gorgeous Fiance a very happy anniversary.
Yet again we have another year where we are not together on our anniversary due to him being away but soon we will have a new anniversary date when we get married in two months.
Eeek Exciting
Never have I ever met someone who has accepted me for everything I am and what I stand for as much as Gareth does.
Skipping back to when we met I was a frail ill girl who was relying on a NG tube in her nose to help her gain weight and get her strength back to recover from another liver transplant.
And He was,well.. Everything but that.
A very sociable confident person - and had everything going for him.
I can still remember now the day I typed a message to him just to say hi.
Which Gareth still insists I constantly flirted with him but I think he forgets it took me about a week to actually talk to him on the phone as I was so scared of saying something silly!
And then it just went from there.
First we went on a date and I just fell for him straight away,there was just something I loved about him.
I think it kinda helped how different we were,it helped me realise life needs to be fun too!
And it's now made me the person I am,
you helped me find parts of me that I lost along the way during my illness and I can never thank you enough for bringing back the 'old kate' and improving her really ha ha.
We have been through some very testing times,yet here we are.
Stronger then ever and about to start our future together as a married couple.
So I just wanted to write a little message (as well as texts,emails and facebook statuses..) to say thank you for all your support in everything I do,because I am so proud of you,so even though another anniversary passes where we aren't together - you are doing something great right now!
I Love You,
And Thank you for always reminding me on down days that life is amazing,especially when your in it :)
Love You Always

(See I warned you it would be cheesy he he)

Granny Takes a Dip - Lush Review

Hey Guys!
Hope your all well?
This saturday while walking round Birmingham city centre I decided to make a trip into Lush after I'd saw a few things online I wanted to try...
The first thing that I was really intrested to try was this bath ballistic -
Granny Takes a Dip at a bargain £3.25 for such a big bath bomb I was curious! 
What drew me in was the bright outer layers so I hoped it would transfer into the bath....
And It sure did!

As soon as you drop 'granny' into the bath the spicy citrusy scent hits you aswell as the beautiful colours beginning to float into the water.  

This is a fast fizzing bath ballistic on the outer layers which turns the bath a gorgeous pink colour while a sherbty lemon smell floats around your bathroom...

The outer layers then begin to slowly dissolve creating this gorgeous physcadellic looking pattern in the bath - so so pretty!

As it got closer to the centre it then began creating bubbles - something I haven't seen in other reviews? Maybe I got a lucky botch one?!

I sat in stitches with my mom earlier,because doesnt this image above look like a cat?!
Or maybe this hippy looking bath bomb is playing with my head ha ha.

It melows down to a pretty pink with pastel tie dye type colours going through the water..

And then it turns into this dark pink gorgeous smelling water!
I love this bath bomb and am happy I had brought two because something told me I'd love this.
On lush they describe it as a spicy citrusy scent with the lemon oil and black pepper but I think it is alot more lemony and sweet!
A fab bath if you want to relax but like the sweeter scents unlike the floral lavender scents.
Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

My Day at Hatton Lock's in Photos.

Hey Guys!
Hope your all well?
Today I went to Hatton Locks which is a lock here in the West Midlands (I am down visiting Family) and thought I would share some of my photography with you all again...
I have really been enjoying getting out using my camera and getting photos taken as I have really slacked recently SO be expecting many more over the next few months..

Stay Safe & Speak Soon