Monday, 17 February 2014

Monday Mumbling - Emotional Abuse.

Hey Guys!
Hope Your all Okay?
This is my Fourth Monday Mumbling - and they have gone down really well so far.
I feel like it has been nice to be able to chat about 'taboo' subjects that will affect a lot of us so that we can see that we aren't the only ones and maybe sometimes even get some advice,especially when I have had other people involved on the post.
But today I felt like this was a post I was better of writing alone.
Emotional Abuse.

Emotional Abuse is a form Of Domestic Abuse,that some people don't even realize.
With Valentines Day just gone,it's hard to think such things happen but we are not all so lucky to be in loving and safe relationships.

I decided to go onto Womens Aid Website to get some statistics to share with you all - the only problem here is though,not all domestic abuse,whatever form is not always reported.
But here are the statistics I got. (Statistics from May 2013)

In 2011/12, 7.3% women (1.2 million) and 5% men (800,000) report
having experienced domestic abuse.

31% women and 18% men have experienced domestic abuse since
the age of 16 years. This amounts to 5 million women and 2.9 million

In 2011/12, the police reported nearly 800,000 incidents of domestic

Women are much more likely than men to be the victim of multiple
incidents of abuse, of different types of domestic abuse (partner
abuse, family abuse, sexual assault and stalking) and in particular of
sexual violence.

These statistics shocked me.
I didn't realize just how many people domestic abuse affects and of course these statistics focus on all forms of abuse,but I want to talk about Emotional Abuse today.

Many people do not realize they are a victim of emotional abuse because they don't actually know what signs to look out for,so I though I would share to you the usual signs of a Emotional Abusive Relationship.


A Emotionally Abusive Partner will usually want you to themselves.
This will cause them to try and isolate you from a normal life,and will lack understanding of why you would want a normal social life with you friends and sometimes family away from the relationship. 
This mean's they will usually try and prevent you going out and doing things with anyone other then them.
But this is not right - it is healthy and normal for you to want to spend time with others.

Verbal Abuse.

Your Partner may use hurtful names and whether they say there joking or not this is not acceptable.
Usually you are made to feel stupid,unattractive,and any positives that happen are usually made to look not important or unsuccessful by your partner. 
Sometimes if you tell them this they may blame you, saying that you need to lighten up or that you are too sensitive. 
Again this is not true - it is not okay to be called hurtful names if this makes you uncomfortable. 


Sometimes your partner may try to control your views and what you do through emotionally controlling you.
For example, They May Sulk,Threaten to End The Relationship Or Emotionally punish you if you make a suggestion they do not agree with.
The most common way of doing this is to make you feel guilty for feeling the way you do,which then prevents you doing something.
Then after the person may appear loving and apologetic,or even continue to make out its your fault but its fine so then once you have forgiven them - then the abuse begins again.


Jealousy is a very natural emotion,but the problem arises when the jealousy becomes irrational.
Your partner may be jealous of You,Other People,And Even your Dreams And Goals.
Sadly again this jealousy means they may expect you to stop doing certain things like stop seeing a certain person - or even stop studying or doing a hobby you enjoy because of their jealousy and the fact they want to be the person who controls you and what you do - even to the lengths of controlling your future.

Instills Fear.

If you have a emotionally abusive partner it is very common that they will use power tactics,dominance and violence to intimidate you.
The bottom line is - You should never feel scared of your partner,your partner is the one person you should always feel safe with.

Blames Others.

The person may never take responsibility for there actions for example saying things like "It's not my fault,You made me do it" "I didn't want you to stop talking to them but the way they act isn't right I don't want you talking to them" 
50% of the time they will find somebody else to blame for there own actions and a lot of the time,it will be made out to be your fault - But it Isn't.

High Expectations.

Your Partner may expect you do do everything for them but you get nothing in return.
This is not a healthy relationship,in a relationship you should be working together - it should never be one way.
This can become obvious in every way,your home life,your social life.
They may even expect gifts or money all the time - with nothing for you in return,or if you do get something it will never seem good enough.
And even sexually,you may be made to feel like,you have to want to have sex and things all the time - even when you don't want to.
None of this is okay,You can say No.


Its most likely that over time being in an emotionally abusive relationship your partner may become violent.
It may start of by pushing or pulling you,pulling your hair,or even grabbing you so hard it leaves you with bruises - again these are signs that things may progress further into physical abuse.

Emotional Abuse Affects Men & Women.

Emotional Abuse,does not only happen to women.
It also affects men,so if you are a male? Don't feel like you are not a victim of emotional abuse just because your a man.
Emotional abuse can also happen in any relationship,Wether it be A Male / Female relationship or a Same Sex Relationship.
Abuse can affect anybody.

Those are just a few examples of things that go on within a emotionally abusive relationship, if you notice any of these signs no matter how small or severe - speak to someone.
There is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about to admit you are in a Abusive Relationship and you can get the help.

You can get more advice on the Women's Aid website,or
call the Free Phone 24 hr National Domestic Violence Helpline on,
0808 2000 247.

I hope this blog post may be able to help people,even if it just be raise awareness of abusive relationships.

(Next Week I will Again have people answering some questions so if you have any suggestions of topic do comment below !)

Stay Safe & Speak Soon.

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